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Admonish thy friends in secret, praise them openly.
Author: Publilius Syrus

Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not.
Author: Henry Fielding

Advice is judged by results, not by intentions.
Author: Cicero

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
Author: C. S. Lewis

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
Author: H. L. Mencken

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six - One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train. "The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster. The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi. Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away. "Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster. An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously. "Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?" "They came to see me off!"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

A tiny racing car was developed by American scientists. The Americans then sent the car over to Japan to see what the Japanese could do to better the car. The Japanese added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than sent it to the U.K. The British scientists, to better the car, added a sound system and window tint. They then sent it over to the Chinese, who added on a lowered suspension to the tiny car. The Chinese then sent it over to India. The Indian scientists, looked at the tiny car, appreciated all the modifications the other countries had made, turned it over and stamped a sign on it.... MADE IN INDIA!!!
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Brother: How do you top a car ? Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes