Best Cell Phones

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Author: Mark Twain

My name is Legion.
Author: Bible

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
Author: Jean Rostand

My punishment is greater than I can bear
Author: Bible

A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord - nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q.) What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other? A.) An air mattress.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Q: What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above? A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes