Best Cell Phones

My masculinity isn't hinged on whether or not I knit.
Author: Robin Green and Mitchell Burgess

In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.
Author: Anonymous

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
Author: Dame Edna Everage

My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.
Author: Bette Davis

My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment.
Author: Britney Spears

My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver? A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that toffee" and a train says, "Choo, choo."
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Police Officer: Why were you speeding? Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing? Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets? Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes