Best Cell Phones

In a false quarrel there is no true valour.
Author: William Shakespeare

No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.
Author: Samuel Johnson

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.
Author: Hesketh Pearson

No matter what I do, no matter how predictable I try to make my life, it will not be any more predictable than the rest of the world. Which is chaotic.
Author: Elizabeth Moon

I grow more intense as I age.
Author: Florida Scott-Maxwell

Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.? With a tire gauge.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes