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Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree - they bear no fruit.
Author: Francis Marion

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
Author: Bible

It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Author: Bishop Richard Cumberland

Put your whole self into it, and you will find your true voice. Hold back and you won't. It's that simple.
Author: Hugh Macleod

Quiet and sincere sympathy is often the most welcome and efficient consolation to the afflicted. Said a wise man to one in deep sorrow, "I did not come to comfort you; God only can do that; but I did come to say how deeply and tenderly I feel for you in y
Author: Tryon Edwards

Q: What are 3 two letter words that say small? A: Is it in.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one m ore time, I'll break it in half!"
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband "beats her." The Judge, wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman. "Every damn time your Honor," she sighed, "Every damn time !"
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes

Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have Barbie goes to the gym for $19.95, Barbie goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie goes shopping for $19.95, Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95, Barbie goes to the Nightclub for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $375.00." "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?!?", Ralph asked surprised. The Manager replies, "Well, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."
This is the joke from a category: Divorce jokes