Best Cell Phones

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Author: Tallulah Bankhead

When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.
Author: Milan Kundera

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea.
Author: Bible

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.
Author: Art Linkletter

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Author: Bernard Bailey

Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster.
This is the joke from a category: Ghost jokes

Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!
This is the joke from a category: Gorilla jokes

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party? The cat ate her.
This is the joke from a category: Halloween jokes

A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. "Did god make you?", she asked. "yes" he answered. "did god makeme, to?" she wondered. "yes", he replied. "well, she shrugged, "don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?"
This is the joke from a category: Hair and bald jokes

"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"
This is the joke from a category: History jokes