Best Cell Phones

If you done it, it ain't bragging.
Author: Walt Whitman

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
Author: Joe Gores

I'm a bit of an abstract figure that people can project their fantasies on; it's pretty much what we all are, otherwise we wouldn't be stars, and people wouldn't be interested. But people project things on you that have nothing to do with what you really
Author: Salma Hayek

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
Author: George Orwell

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.
Author: Italian Proverb

"Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?" "He said it was too tight."
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He's the stiff one.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, "Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie." "A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu." She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes