Best Cell Phones

I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's, and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Author: Thomas Jefferson

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Author: Wilson Mizner

I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did'.
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it afterwards.
Author: Patricia Moyes

I stand in awe of my body.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? Time to get a new car.
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

'I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock,' said the principal to a new boy. 'No, Sir. I've got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.'
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.
This is the joke from a category: Time jokes