Best quotes to send by SMS

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Author: Mickey Rooney
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Author: P. J. O Rourke
Am I my brother's keeper?
Author: Bible
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping.
Author: Jonathan Swift
America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
Author: Oscar Wilde
The best jokes to send by SMS

Why couldn't
the skeleton pay his bus fare?
Because he was skint.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes
How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar?
Throw it under a bus.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes
Why did the bus stop?
Because it saw the zebra
crossing.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes
Conductor, this bus
was very slow!
Oh, I
expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes
Conductor, do you stop
at the Savoy Hotel?
I should say not, on my salary!
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes