Best Cell Phones

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Author: Mark Twain

Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.
Author: Adrian Mitchell

Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions.
Author: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Much learning does not teach understanding.
Author: Heraclitus

Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.
Author: Clare Booth Luce

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure th e captain is aboard before getting under way!"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million.
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes