Best Cell Phones

One might define adulthood as the age at which a person learns he must die and accepts his sentence undismayed.
Author: Robert Heinlein

Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.
Author: Edward Chapin

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Author: George Burns

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Author: Woody Allen

Unjust dominion cannot be eternal.
Author: Seneca

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose.
This is the joke from a category: Teeth jokes

The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you're wanted on the phone, sir." "What d'you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said 'is that you, you old fool?"
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and they were changing their shoes when a cell phone on the bench rang. The man picked it up and answered it. "Hi honey," said the woman on the other end. "Hi honey," replied the man. "I was just calling to tell you about this fur coat I found today. It's beautiful fox fur and I just love the way it looks on me. It's on sale too, a real bargain. It's down to $2000 from $4000. Can I get it?" The man thought about it for a sec and said, "You're sure it's a good deal?" "Oh yes," replied the woman. "Okay then, I guess you can get it," replied the man. The woman continued,"Oh, and you know how we've been thinking about getting rid of the Lexus and getting a new Jaguar? Well, I went to the dealership today and the guy gave me a real deal. He said he'd lower the price from $50,000 to $35,000 just for me. Can I get it?" The man thought a little harder and said,"If you're sure it's a good deal, then yes, go ahead and get the Jaguar." The woman continued again. "Oh, one last thing, honey. Remember that house we saw last month that we really liked, but decided we'd wait and think about? Well, it's on the market again, so I checked the price. It's down to $450,000 and I checked with the bank and we have enough in the checking account so that I can just write a check. Should I get it?" The man got a frown on his face and said,"See if you can get them down to $420,000. If they'll go down to that, go ahead and get it." The woman was extremely excited. "Okay honey, thank you so much! I'll see you when I get home! Bye!" "Bye," said the man. He hung up the phone and looked at the other men in the locker room and said, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

Why is an engaged girl like a telephone? Because they both have rings.
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ? Dental floss !
This is the joke from a category: Teeth jokes