Best Cell Phones

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle.
Author: James Russell Lowell

Mistake not. Those pleasures are not pleasures that trouble the quiet and tranquillity of thy life.
Author: Jeremy Taylor

Mistrust the man who finds everything good, the man who finds everything evil and still more the man who is indifferent to everything.
Author: Johann K. Lavater

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
Author: Jackie Gleason

Money, which represents the prose of life, and which is hardly spoken of in parlors without an apology, is, in its effects and laws, as beautiful as roses.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

What did you get for your birthday? Another year!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes