Best Cell Phones

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
Author: Dame Edna Everage

My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.
Author: Bette Davis

My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment.
Author: Britney Spears

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
Author: Flip Wilson

My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
Author: Bible

Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk? Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Policeman: Why did you stop your car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal? Motorist: The light just turned yellow.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel? Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of gas.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

McAfee and Bracket were driving home after a big party. "Hey," said McAfee, "be sure to watch out for that bridge that's coming down the road toward us." "What are you telling me to 'watch out' for?" asked Brackett. "You're the one who's driving!"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes