Best Cell Phones

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
Author: Unknown

Any artist should be grateful for a naive grace which puts him beyond the need to reason elaborately.
Author: Saul Bellow

Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
Author: Aesop

Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant,
Author: Solomon Short

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?" "Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped , "No! We think you are trying to escape!"
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck? One goes quick on her beautiful legs, the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes

What do you call someone who dances on cars ? A morris dancer !
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes