Best Cell Phones

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.
Author: Patrick Henry

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestioned ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
Author: Charles M. Schulz

I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
Author: Cyrus Ching

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes