
You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
Author: Albert Camus
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.
Author: James A. Froude
You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we th
Author: Marie Curie
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Author: Indira Gandhi
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
Author: Eric Hoffer

Bill Clinton,
Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al
Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air
Force 1 on their way to
visit the Communists to share their success
stories about taxing
Americans.
Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out
the window and
make someone very happy."
Hillary: "Well, why
don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the
window and make
ten people happy."
Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window
and make me and Tipper
happy."
Tipper: "Why don't we all jump
out the window and make everybody
throughout the United States and
world happy."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
At the airport for a business trip, I settled
down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard
the
voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for
the
inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate
41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not
ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight
570
would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, we
gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the
original gate. Just
as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke
again:
"Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness
program.
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
From a Southwest Airlines employee....
"Welcome aboard Southwest
Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt,
insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just
like every other seatbelt, and if
you don't know how to operate
one, you probably shouldn't be out in
public unsupervised. In the
event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the
mask, and pull it over
your face. If you have a small child traveling with
you, secure your
mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
traveling with two
small children, decide now which one you love
more.
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
As a crowded airliner is about to
take
off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment
to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated,
embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to
scream
furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from
the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of
an Air Force
General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle.
Stopping the
flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired,
courtly,
soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest,
whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms
down, gently takes his mother's hand, and
quietly fastens his seat
belt. All the other passengers burst into
spontaneous
applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the
cabin
attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she ask
s
quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that
little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I
showed him my
pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons,
and explained that they
entitle me to throw one passenger out the
plane door on any flight I
choose."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes
After the first
takeoff of the fully
automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing,
reassuring voice
of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your
automatic pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is
absolutely
impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible,
..."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes