Best Cell Phones

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'
Author: Clare Booth Luce

Bees that have honey in their mouths have stings in their tails.
Author: Scottish Proverb

Before he sets out, the traveler must possess fixed interests and facilities to be served by travel.
Author: George Santayana

Before you act consider; when you have considered, tis fully time to act.
Author: Sallust

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
Author: Confucius

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow that can milk itself !
This is the joke from a category: Cow jokes

What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar? Gimme a slug of whiskey.
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

The swing doors of the Wild West saloon crashed open and in came Little Pete, black with fury. "All right!" he raged, "all right! Who did it? What goldarned varmint painted my horse blue?" The huge figure of Black Jake, notorious gunfighter and town baddie rose from a chair by the door. "It was me, shrimp," he drawled, bunching his gigantic fists, "what about it?" "Oh, well, er," stammered little Pete wretchedly, "all I wanted to say was. . .when are you going to give it another coat?"
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?" "Sam," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes

Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs? He was always horsing around.
This is the joke from a category: Cowboy jokes