Best Cell Phones

No one should do a job he can do in his sleep.
Author: Cory Doctorow

Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.
Author: Alan Turing

No, 'tis slander, Whose edge is sharper than the sword, whose tongue Outvenoms all the worms of Nile, whose breath Rides on the posting winds, and doth belie All corners of the world.
Author: William Shakespeare

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
Author: Tallulah Bankhead

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.
Author: Louis L'Amour

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

"The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You're gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man." - Jay Leno
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, 'Ship the Enron documents to the Feds'?" The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes