Best Cell Phones

If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.
Author: Joe Martin

Miracles: You do not have to look for them. They are there, 24-7, beaming like radio waves all around you. Put up the antenna, turn up the volume - snap... crackle... this just in, every person you talk to is a chance to change the world...
Author: Hugh Elliott

I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says: 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have - When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has befo
Author: Harry S Truman

Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress.
Author: George Eliot

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Author: Johnny Carson

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? You're not owld enough.
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor.
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

"Look at that speed!" said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads. "Hmph!" snorted the other. "You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!"
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes