Best Cell Phones

You must dare to disassociate yourself from those who would delay your journey... Leave, depart, if not physically, then mentally. Go your own way, quietly, undramatically, and venture toward trueness at last.
Author: Vernon Howard

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
Author: Stephen Leacock

I love you the more that I believe you have liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.
Author: John Keats

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
Author: Charles Austin Beard

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
Author: Joe E. Lewis

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!" "Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked. "I'll have a glass of blood," the first replied. "I'll have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second. "I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third. "OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of beer each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!