Best Cell Phones

To see the earth as it truly is, small and blue and beautiful in that eternal silence where it floats, is to see ourselves as riders on the earth together, brothers on that bright loveliness in the eternal cold.
Author: Archibald MacLeish

Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy.
Author: Seneca

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get ahold of me, they just say "Mitch," and I say "what?" and turn my head slightly.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.
Author: Donald Foster

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.
Author: Professor Irwin Corey

What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes