Best Cell Phones

In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact.
Author: Marlene Dietrich

It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.
Author: Elizabeth Taylor

It is what we learn after we think we know it all, that counts.
Author: John Wooden

How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing
Author: Matt Groening

I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb &
Author: Jim Carrey

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Frozen Barbie on a Stick ...in your grocer's frozen food section
This is the joke from a category: Barbie doll jokes

The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, "Will it be alright if I have a bath while you're having your lunch?" "It's okay with me lady," said the plumber, "as long as you don't splash my sandwiches."
This is the joke from a category: Bath jokes

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.
This is the joke from a category: Beauty jokes

Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed? Son: I couldn't find a spider.
This is the joke from a category: Bed jokes