Best Cell Phones

I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
Author: Thomas Jefferson

I do press junkets and people will tell me what I've supposedly said in articles and I always disagree with myself. 'Why in the world would I say that?'
Author: Meg Ryan

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Author: J. R. R. Tolkien

I dont like animals. Its a strange thing, I dont like men and I dont like animals. As for God, he is beginning to disgust me.
Author: Samuel Beckett

I don't think the money people in Hollywood have ever thought I was normal, but I am dedicated to my work and that's what counts.
Author: Angelina Jolie

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun? A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes