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Best quotes to send by SMS
Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.Author: Hugh Elliott
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.Author: Mark Twain
If you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness.Author: Julie-Jeanne-Eleonore de Lespinasse
Justice is a contract of expediency, entered upon to prevent men harming or being harmed.Author: Epicurus
Justice requires that to lawfully constituted Authority there be given that respect and obedience which is its due; that the laws which are made shall be in wise conformity with the common good; and that, as a matter of conscience all men shall render obeAuthor: Pope Pius XI
The best jokes to send by SMS
The husband was not home at
his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later
and
later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front
door, and
as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her
husband, drunk as a
skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you
realize what time it is?" she asked.
He answered, "Don't get
excited. I'm late because I bought something
for the house."
Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to
meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"
His answer was, "A round of drinks!"This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
Two ladies are in a bar and
the first lady says, "Why are men the same as parking lots".
So the second lady says "I don't know?"
So the first lady
says, " all the good ones are taken and the ones
that are left are
handicap!"This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A snail goes into a bar and
orders a beer.
The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve
snails' and throws him out.
A couple of weeks later the snail goes
into the bar again and says...
'What did you do that for!'This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A pirate was talking to a
"land-lubber" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any
self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of
his
hands, and a patch over one eye. The land-lubber just had to
find out how
the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked the pirate,
"How did you
loose your leg?"
The pirate responded, "I lost
me leg in a battle off the coast of
Jamaica!" His new acquaintance
was still curious so he asked, "What about
you hand. Did you lose
it at the same time?"
"No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to
the sharks off the Florida
Keys." Finally, the land-lubber asked, "I
notice you also have an eye
patch. How did you lose your eye?"
The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew
over and crapped right in me eye." The land-lubber asked: "How
could a
little seagull crap make you loose your eye?"
Th
e pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook."This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A number twelve walks into a
bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't
serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number
twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You're under 18," replies
the barman.This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!