Best Cell Phones

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
Author: Blaise Pascal

I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.
Author: Terence

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Author: Fred Allen

I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.
Author: Igor Stravinsky

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
Author: Bruce Grocott

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt and it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class become more and more unmanageable. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear ? Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow. Mother: Really ? Why's that ? Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes