
It is good for us to be here.
Author: Bible
It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
Author: Sally Kempton
It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.
Author: George Bernard Shaw
It is impossible to go through life without trust: That is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself.
Author: Graham Greene
It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.
Author: Dr. Howard Murphy

A man in a bar
sees a
friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he
comments, "You look terrible. What's the
problem?"
"My mother
died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000."
"Gee, that's
tough," he replied.
"Then in July," the friend continued, "My
father died, leaving me
$50,000."
"Wow. Two parents gone in
two months. No wonder you're depressed."
"And last month my aunt
died, and left me $15,000."
"Three close family members lost in
three months? How sad."
"Then this month," continued, the
friend, "nothing!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A drunk is refused a drink
in a bar, so he
undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.
He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that
cat
coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see
four!"
The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he
responds,
"You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the
alcohol away,
"That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A man drinking
at the
bar for three hours, yells at the bartender for another drink.
The
bartender walks over and tells the man that he has already had too
much to drink.
The man looks up from his glass angrily and shouts. "I
have been
drinking for 36 years and I have no idea when I have had
too much ...so how
the hell do you know?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A man walks into a bar with
a piece of
asphalt under his arm and asks the barman "Can I have a
drink for me and
one for the road?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!
A
Skeleton walks into a
bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!