Best Cell Phones

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's, and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Author: Thomas Jefferson

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Author: Wilson Mizner

I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did'.
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it afterwards.
Author: Patricia Moyes

Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo? A: They make good paddles.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend? A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp, espressivo'.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: That's the banjo player's porsche.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes