Best Cell Phones

When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they'll remember and be kind to someone else. And it'll become like a wildfire.
Author: Whoopi Goldberg

The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
Author: Richard Dawkins

Let me have men about me that are fat, Sleek-headed men, and such as sleep o' nights: Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
Author: William Shakespeare

I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
Author: John Cage

When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go.
Author: Carol Burnett

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on sweety, let's go home."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a symphonic orchestra playing. When asked about his impressions, he commented: "No military precision in drill..." "Why?" "Did you see those violin players? They were moving their bows not in cadence."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp? He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn't even entered.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do mice do when they're at home ? Mousework !
This is the joke from a category: Mouse jokes