Best Cell Phones

We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.
Author: Ray Bradbury

We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
Author: Walt Kelly

We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine.
Author: H. L. Mencken

Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen to them.
Author: Shakti Gawain

It is better to learn late than never.
Author: Publilius Syrus

The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come. One year it was young Mary's turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu. Well, she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNU'S EAR!
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

Sauer and Tolbert went to the zoo and watched in awe as a lion let loose with a spine-tingling roar. "Let's get out of here!" said Sauer. "Go on, if'n you want to," said the other redneck. "But Ah'm stayin' for the whole movie!"
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film? Stop playing it cagey!
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something.
This is the joke from a category: Random joke of the day