Best Cell Phones

America is therefore the land of the future, where, in the ages that lie before us, the burden of the World's History shall reveal itself.
Author: Georg W. Hegel

American foreign policy must be more than the management of crisis. It must have a great and guiding goal: to turn this time of American influence into generations of democratic peace.
Author: George W. Bush

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
Author: Edgar Watson Howe

America's present need is not heroics, but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration.
Author: Warren G. Harding

An act against my will is not my act.
Author: Unknown

How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But he gets three hours credit.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning? By opening the car door.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Three students from Michigan State, the University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were caught smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The judge turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, "Do you have any final words, son?" "Yeah, drop dead!" snapped the Wolverine. Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried out. The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in astonishment, the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches from the victim's throat. "It's God's will! Let him go!" cried the judge. Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on the block, and the judge asked again, "And what are your final remarks, my boy?" "Go to hell!" shouted the student, and the judge signaled. The razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just a quarter inch from the condemned boy's neck. "It's the wi ll of God!" exclaimed the judge. "Set him free!" Finally the Texan was put into position. "Before you're beheaded," said the judge, "do you have any last words?" "Yeh!" replied the Aggie. "If y'all will just put a little more grease on them grooves, the blade'll come down a whole lot easier!"
This is the joke from a category: College jokes

Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it, dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.
This is the joke from a category: College jokes