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I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to acheive that state the old fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Author: Doug Larson

The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I should say winter had given the bone and sinew to literature, summer the tissues and the blood.
Author: John Burroughs

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
Author: Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes