Best Cell Phones

No one should do a job he can do in his sleep.
Author: Cory Doctorow

Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.
Author: Alan Turing

No, 'tis slander, Whose edge is sharper than the sword, whose tongue Outvenoms all the worms of Nile, whose breath Rides on the posting winds, and doth belie All corners of the world.
Author: William Shakespeare

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
Author: Tallulah Bankhead

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.
Author: Louis L'Amour

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

"The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You're gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full service. Instead of getting robbed at the ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the middle man." - Jay Leno
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, 'Ship the Enron documents to the Feds'?" The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

A young businessman rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. However, no business was coming in. Sitting there, worrying, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to look busy, he picked up the phone and pretended he was negotiating a big deal. He spoke loudly about big figures and huge commitments. Finally, he put down the phone and asked the visitor "Can I help you?" The man said, "I've come to install the phone."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes