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Americans never quit.
Author: General Douglas Macarthur

Among all men on the earth bards have a share of honor and reverence, because the muse has taught them songs and loves the race of bards.
Author: Homer

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.
Author: Publilius Syrus

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Author: Robert Benchley

Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight. Second cannibal: What are you having? First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary asked. "Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?" "Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. "Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo-keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cag e next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zoo-keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!" but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, " Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes