
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Author: Laurence J. Peter
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Author: Mark Twain
An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides.
Author: John H. Patterson
An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.
Author: Thomas Jefferson
An idea is salvation by imagination.
Author: Frank Lloyd Wright

Before going to Europe on business, a man
drove his
Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask
for an
immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a
back, and
requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my
Rolls-Royce",
the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car
driven into the
bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and
gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the
bank's doors, and asked to
settle up his loan and get his car back. The
loan officer checked the
records and told him, "That will be $5,000
in principal, and $15.40 in
interest." The man wrote out a check,
thanked the loan officer, and
started to walk away.
"Wait
sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out
you
are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?
The
man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in
Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood
and called the whole
staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had
picked up. Everybody, but
one girl laughed
uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense
of
humor?"
"I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving
Friday."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes
A young man asked an old rich
man how he
made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and
said, "Well, son, it
was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I
was down to my last
nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an
apple. I spent the entire day polishing
the apple and, at the end of
the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I
invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent
the entire day
polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I
continued this
system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated
a fortune of
$1.37."
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy
asked.
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and
left us two million dollars."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes
A motorist, driving by a
Texas ranch, hit
and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver
went to
the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then
asked
what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the
rancher. "But in six years it would
have been worth $900. So $900 is
what I'm out."
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and
handed it to the
farmer.
"Here," he said, "is the check for
$900. It's postdated six years
from now."
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes
"The fees for
withdrawing money from your
ATM machines are expected to double, even
triple. You're gonna pay
two to three as much to withdraw your money so
basically the ATM
machines have become full service. Instead of getting
robbed at the
ATM machine the ATM machine robs you. You eliminate the
middle man."
- Jay Leno
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes