Best Cell Phones

Whatever you think, be sure it is what you think; whatever you want, be sure that is what you want; whatever you feel, be sure that is what you feel.
Author: T. S. Eliot

What's mine is yours, and what is yours is mine.
Author: William Shakespeare

What's the earth With all its art, verse, music, worth - Compared with love, found, gained, and kept?
Author: Robert Browning

When a book and a head collide and there is a hollow sound, is it always from the book?
Author: Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is any thing you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
Author: Edgar Watson Howe

What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in the living room. She heard her son said, "All of you sons of bitches get the hell off the plane now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the plane, cause we're going to take-off now." The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your plane, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his plane. Soon the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are deplaning, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for flying with us today and hope your tr ip was a pleasant one. We hope you will fly with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the plane. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant? Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.
This is the joke from a category: Banana jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,"I'm sorry sir, but I can't serve you...you've already had too much to drink." The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says,"I'm sorry, sir...but I can't serve you...you've already had too much to drink!" Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man..."I'm really sorry, sir, but you've had too much to drink...you're going to have to leave!" The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, "My God, man... How many bars do you work at?!!!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!