Best Cell Phones

I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
Author: George Burns

I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things.
Author: Lech Walesa

I'm not judging people, I'm judging their actions. It's the same type of distinction that I try to apply to myself, to judge, but not be judgmental.
Author: Jeff Melvoin

I'm proof against that word failure. I've seen behind it. The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to the purpose he sees to be best.
Author: George Eliot

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Author: Jef Raskin

What has handles and flies? A witch in a garbage can.
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch? A witch in soggy trainers.
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

What does a witch enjoy cooking most? Gnomelettes.
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes