
Duty is ours, results are God's.
Author: John Quincy Adams
Each bird loves to hear himself sing.
Author: Arapaho Proverb
Each generation will reap what the former generation has sown.
Author: Chinese Proverb
Each painting has its own way of evolving...When the painting is finished, the subject reaveals itself.
Author: William Baziotes
Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult problem.
Author: Henry Kissinger

President Clinton died and knocked at
the
Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton".
"What bad things did you do on earth?"
Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana,
but you
shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale.
And I lied,
but I didn't commit perjury."
After several
moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's
the deal.
We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't
call it
'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time,
but we
won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon
entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze
over."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes
So this trumpet player dies. When he
reaches is
everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You're
going to spend eternity
with this combo, okay? There's a bass player
named 'Mingus' and a
pianist named 'Monk', and any day now we
expect this 'Blakey' guy to
show up with his drums.
"Wow!"
the guy says, "I never imagined heaven would be this good."
The
man in the robe says, "This is hell, not heaven. There's a girl
singer."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes
A cat and a mouse died on the same
day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them
'How do you like it so far?'
The mouse replied 'It's
great, but can I get a pair of roller
skates?' God said 'Sure', and
he gave him a pair of roller skates.
The next day God saw the
cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here
so far?' and the cat
replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on
wheels up
here!'
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes
A Director arrives below and is met by
Satan
who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie
studio
with the latest and best equipment, stages, great actors,
etc. Director
thinks its great and asks Satan what heaven is like if
hell is this
good. Satan says heaven is exactly like this, a movie
studio. The Director
is confused. "Then what's the difference," he
asks.
Satan smiles. "Well, in heaven they actually *make*
movies."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes
Jay:
Does the Bible say that if
you smoke you can't get to
heaven?
Ted: No, but the more you smoke
the quicker you'll get there.
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes