Best quotes to send by SMS

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.
Author: Mignon McLaughlin
Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
Author: Jim Horning
I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.
Author: Willa Cather
Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man conscious of guilt.
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus
It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the living.
Author: Eric Hoffer
The best jokes to send by SMS

What did the overweight
ballet dancer
perform ?
The dance of the sugar plump fairy !
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes
I've been invited to an avoidance.
An
avoidance? What's that?
It's a dance for people who hate each
other.
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes
An avid line dancing couple
go to the doctor
for a check up because they are having trouble
remembering anything
but, all the latest line dances. The doctor finds them in
excellent
health (of course), but suggests that writing things down may
help
their memories off the dance floor. That night the husband gets up
to go the kitchen and the wife asks for a dish of ice cream, suggesting
that maybe he write it down. He says "I don't need to write it
down"
She says "Well I want Strawberries on it, so maybe you better
write it
down" "I don"t need to write it down" He says and walks off
in a
huff. Twenty minutes later he comes back with a plate of bacon
and eggs.
"I told you to write it down" she says, "You forgot my
toast".
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes
Why did the two knives go to the dance
together?
Because they both looked sharp!
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes
What is a duck's favorite dance ?
The
quackstep !
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes