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I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Author: Bertrand Russell

I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
Author: Beryl Pfizer

If a civil word or two will render a man happy, he must be a wretch indeed who will not give them to him. Such a disposition is like lighting another man's candle by one's own, which loses none of its brilliancy by what the other gains.
Author: William Penn

If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is the man who has so much as to be out of danger.
Author: Thomas H. Huxley

If a man is destined to drown, he will drown even in a spoonful of water.
Author: Yiddish Proverb

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities. A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking. A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, but I've only come up with one: Lying.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died." So he takes the first parachute and jumps. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future President". She takes one of the parachutes and jumps. The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, "I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps. The fourth passenger, th e Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy replies "No problem your Pope-ness, there is also a parachute for you. America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag."
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being "lifeless as a statue." "That is absurd," Gore stoically stated. "When elected, the people of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly am." Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper, "Honey, you have a pigeon on your head."
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes