Best Cell Phones

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Author: Phyllis Diller

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.
Author: Maria Montessori

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Author: Quentin Crisp

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Author: Steven Wright

Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.
Author: Jean Paul Richter

Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O.K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over your butt cheek instead of your heart? Johnny relied! I can't. Teacher asks, why not? Well you see, when my ant comes over to pick me up and pats my bottom and says, BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!!!!
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes