Best Cell Phones

If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified in silencing mankind.
Author: John Stuart Mill

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
Author: Lyndon B. Johnson

If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting, and we feel - nothing at all. The best things arrive on time.
Author: Dorothy Gilman

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
Author: Doug Larson

If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice.
Author: Meister Eckhart

Willie: "I have an awful toothache." Tommie: "I'd have it taken out if it was mine." Willie: "Yes, if it was yours, I would, too."
This is the joke from a category: Teeth jokes

Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. 'Darling!' he blurted out, 'will you marry me?' 'Of course, I will, you silly boy,' she replied, 'who is it speaking?'
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get? Snappy talk.
This is the joke from a category: Telephone jokes

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !
This is the joke from a category: Teeth jokes