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Best quotes to send by SMS
On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.Author: Tom Lehrer
Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists.Author: Norman Mailer
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.Author: e e cummings
One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.Author: Oscar Wilde
One cannot conceive anything so strange and so implausible that it has not already been said by one philosopher or another.Author: Rene Descartes
The best jokes to send by SMS
Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing
home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies
pulled
out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and
continued
smoking.
The lady asked, "What's that?"
"A
condom," the other lady responded. "This way my cigarette
doesn't
get wet."
"Where did you get it?" the other lady asked.
"You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day, the first
lady hobbled herself down to the local
drugstore and announced to
the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The
guy looked at her
kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years
of age), but
politely asks what brand she prefers.
"It doesn't matter as long
as it fits a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
They now have an Italian airline that flies out
of Genoa.
It's called Genitalia.This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
In a nursing home, there is this old woman named
Gladys who likes to walk around and flash people. She walks up to a
nun, opens her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The nun says, "Gladys,
you
know you're not supposed to do that. Now go back to your room.
Gladys
starts walking back and sees the minister. She walks up to
him, opens
her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The minister is shocked
and tells
her to go back to her room. As she continues, she sees an
old man lying
on the bed. She walks in, flashes him, and yells
"Super Pussy!" The
man slowly turns his head and says, "Thanks, I think
I'll have the
soup."This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
A guy waiting at the bus stop wearing chains,
leather jaket, and leather pants and his hair in long spikes each a
different color. An old man at the bus stop looked and looked at the
guy,
finally, the guy said to the old man: "haven't you ever done
anything
crazy and wild in your life" and the old man said "yah, I
have, I once
made it with a peacock and I was wondering if your my
son"This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist.
As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his
crotch.
The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my
privates."
The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we're going to be careful not to
hurt
each other, aren't we."This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes