Best Cell Phones

If you observe a really happy man, you will find... that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours each day.
Author: W. Beran Wolfe

Music is a discipline, and a mistress of order and good manners, she makes the people milder and gentler, more moral and more reasonable.
Author: Martin Luther

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.
Author: Carl Sandburg

I feel like a tiny bird with a big song!
Author: Jerry Van Amerongen

We ought not to judge of men's merits by their qualifications, but by the use they make of them.
Author: Richard Cecil

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
This is the joke from a category: Hair and bald jokes

Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?" GOD says, "So you would like them." "OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?" "So you would LOVE them", GOD replies. The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?" GOD says, "So they would love you!"
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!"
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes

How do you get pikachu on to a boat? You pokemon
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes