Best Cell Phones

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Author: Andy Rooney

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
Author: O. Henry

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Author: Albert Schweitzer

Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains.
Author: Jean Jacques Rousseau

Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods. This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the
Author: H. L. Mencken

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds. Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?" "Yup, shore am!" "How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Ten pounds." The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds." The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house, the car, and half of Ken's belongings
This is the joke from a category: Barbie doll jokes