Best Cell Phones

Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.
Author: Chuang-tzu

Strange new problems are being reported in the growing generations of children whose mothers were always there, driving them around, helping them with their homework - an inability to endure pain or discipline or pursue any self-sustained goal of any sort
Author: Betty Friedan

Strong reasons make strong actions.
Author: William Shakespeare

Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Author: Sir Arthur Eddington

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Author: Unknown

A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof. When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket. The brunette jumped. As she was falling 'swoosh' the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick. The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump. "No way! I saw what you did to my friend." exclaimed the redhead. "I am sorry" said the Chief, "My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just don't like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads....jump it's your only chance." So the redhead jumped. On the way down 'swoosh' the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she hit the pavement like a tomato!" The firefighters a gain held up the blanket and the Chief told the blonde to jump. The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival was to jump. "No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two friends." "I'm sorry" said the Chief, "I explained what happened to the brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will not happen again, just jump!" The blonde thought for a moment. "OK I'll jump - but first I want you to lay the blanket on the ground, back away, and then I'll jump into it."
This is the joke from a category: Firefighter jokes

The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars. However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave. As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, "Don't worry... it's just the dispatcher toning him out."
This is the joke from a category: Firefighter jokes

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do." The farmer said, "That's once."
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes