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This hath not offended the king.
Author: Sir Thomas More

This is one of those views which are so absolutely absurd that only very learned men could possibly adopt them.
Author: Bertrand Russell

Speech is a mirror of the soul: as a man speaks, so is he.
Author: Publilius Syrus

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
Author: George Burns

The idea of all-out nuclear war is unsettling.
Author: Walter Goodman

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group was silent for a moment. Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any day of the week!"
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes