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Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happines
Author: Og Mandino

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Author: Desiderius Erasmus

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to acheive that state the old fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Author: Doug Larson

The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I should say winter had given the bone and sinew to literature, summer the tissues and the blood.
Author: John Burroughs

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "What's wrong?" The depressed one replied, "I've been married four times and everyone of my husbands has passed away." The other lady asked, "What did they used to do?" The depressed lady replied, "Well, my first husband was a millionaire, the second was a magician, the third was an evangelist, and the fourth was a mortician." And the other said, "Oh, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes