Best Cell Phones

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.
Author: Vaclav Havel

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else.
Author: William Rotsler

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Author: Voltaire

Appraise war in terms of the fundamental factors. The first of these factors is moral influence.
Author: Sun-Tzu

Archaeology is the peeping Tom of the sciences. It is the sandbox of men who care not where they are going; they merely want to know where everyone else has been.
Author: Jim Bishop

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick. Five minutes later Tyler returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Tyler down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Tyler looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way. Well, five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. So, Tommy and Tyler go together and five minutes later they both return r and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Tommy, "Well, did you find it?" Tommy is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. "Mama!" yelled the boy. "A gator jus' bit off mah foot!" "Which one?" called his mother from inside the cabin. "How the hell should Ah know?!" he shrieked. "They all look alike to me!"
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do people really come from dust, like they said in church ? he sobbed. 'In a way they do,' said his mother. ' And when they die do the turn back to dust ?'. 'Yes, they do.' The little boy began to cry again. ' Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going !'
This is the joke from a category: Children jokes