Best Cell Phones

Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god.
Author: Jean Rostand

Knowing I lov'd my books, he furnish'd me From mine own library with volumes that I prize above my dukedom.
Author: William Shakespeare

Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.
Author: Ethel Mumford

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
Author: W. C. Fields

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
Author: Cullen Hightower

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC? Because it was on old croc.
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Do vampires get AIDS?
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn th ing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes