Best Cell Phones

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
Author: Moliere

The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Author: Charles Luckman

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Author: H. L. Mencken

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.
Author: Anonymous

I'm youth, I'm joy, I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg.
Author: James M. Barrie

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

A small boy is sent to bed by his father... [Five minutes later] "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." [Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" [Five minutes later] "Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's a millennium?" "Well," he muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more legs!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes